The Songs of our Lives
by proserandom
Summary: Drabbles about the various songs I picked out that suits the GA characters. Drabble #3 Because they were forbidden to be together but they were contented with what they have and it was more than enough.
1. Leave Out All The Rest

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice

**Author's note:** I lost a friend last April 15, 2010. She was a close friend of mine. Really close. It's a shame that I would start this fanfic with a tale of woe.

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**Title: **Leave Out All The Rest

**Inspiration:** Leave out all the rest by Linkin Park

**Pairing:** Natsume x Mikan

**Dedication: **This story goes out for you KJGT. You were wrong. You were much more than what you give credit for yourself. You just didn't realize it. You won't be forgotten, love because I sure as hell can't.

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Because he was already so sure but then she came and changed it all.

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You were never one to worry about death.

You knew death was inevitable. Everybody would die eventually; it was just not the same with you. You were one step ahead to death. One step ahead compared to everybody else.

But then, you were never the one to worry about being forgotten.

You were never afraid of anything, let alone being forgotten. But then she came and everything changed. Everything, including your perspective on death.

And suddenly you were afraid to be forgotten.

You were missing in your dream. From a mission you're damn sure. You were missing and she was scared as hell. She tried to approach your friends, or at least that's what you think they were, but they don't care. Heck, they wouldn't even listen. They just gave her looks of sympathy and regret. Figures; they never really cared.

But there was Ruka, the person who you knew would never let you down and would always have your back. Contrary to what was expected, he just looked at her blankly when she asked for help before completely walking away as if telling her it would happen eventually. You almost lost it right then and there.

Then a teacher approached her – that homeroom teacher you never really like but secretly thankful for, for bringing her in this hell hole they call school. He approached her with a grim face and a resentful expression.

You knew from the look on his eyes what he was going to say. You knew the moment her smile wavered, you knew the moment her faithful eyes were filled with those nasty tears you hate to see coming from those eyes that showed hope. You knew what he said. You knew what that hope was for.

Hope that you might still be alive.

Then everything went black and you woke up gasping for breath.

Your breathing was ragged and a cold sweat trickled from your forehead to the side of your face. Realizing it was just another one of those nightmares; you clutch the bed sheets and muttered a curse under your breath

As you plopped back in your bed, you try to calm and assure yourself that it was just a dream. And what happens in dreams were always the opposite in reality. However, there was an uneasy feeling prowling in your guts. A feeling that lingers at the bottom of your stomach, convincing you that it was something more than a mere dream.

More like a premonition.

You come to school in a daze, still thinking of that wretched nightmare. She sat beside you and asked what was wrong, but you simply stared at her before walking away. Away from that penetrating gaze of hers that bore into your very soul

You had so many things to tell her. Why, how and just what the hell was wrong but you can't. You couldn't because you didn't know how to say it without hurting her, without insults spouting from your mouth and because you didn't know where to start.

You didn't realize that she followed you until she asked once again. And because you didn't know what to say, you once again lashed out on her, insulted her and commanded her to leave you alone, when in reality all you wanted to ask her was to stay by your side

She just smiled at you and patted you on the shoulder before going back to the room. A simple gesture that said she would be there to listen when you're ready.

Sighing, you watched her leave.

The words were just on the tip of your tongue but your pride was in the way. It had always been in the way. You just wished that when your time finally came she would forget all those spiteful things you had said, and instead remember the times that you had been there for her.

You remember how she used to be afraid of you. You couldn't really blame her; you too were afraid of yourself. You had changed so much since you came to the academy. So much that you didn't even know your old yourself. But deep down you knew the old you was still alive. The old you that cared dearly for his family, so much that he would sacrifice his own life just to make sure the filthy hands of the Academy wouldn't touch them. The old innocent village boy was still alive; he was just over shadowed by the monster they had turned you into.

And the thing is, she _used_ to be afraid of you but now treats you as her friend. She was even the first one to approach you and declare that you two were officially friends.

Even if people see you as the hero, you couldn't help but think she had always been the stronger one. The tough guy who deals with everything by himself and always had an invincible aura. They worship you like a god. They say you're almost perfect.

_Almost_

Yes, you were strong on the surface but you knew that it was not all the way through. She may be a crybaby but she had always been the zealous one; she may not have the tough exterior you have, but you knew as hell she's stronger than you are, and ever would be.

Of course, you weren't perfect; you're just human after all. Human like everybody else. So why does everyone keep on expecting extraordinary things from you? You're tired from all of this. All of these missions, these expectations.

All this _shit_

But still you kept on pursuing them, pushing yourself to your limits until you can give no more. You've learned to forget all the pain they've caused you. You've endured their torments, forgotten how to feel, forgotten to show emotions. And you constantly ask yourself _'Why am I doing this?'_

Of course you knew the answer.

It's because you knew you can never be like her. It's because you were envious of just how she can leave all the rest behind and just be herself. It's because in reality you envied her. You're jealous of how freely she could show her tears when she's sad, or how she can laugh as loud as she can when she's happy. And you envy her because you knew you couldn't leave those kinds of memories, so you try to create something that you can give without so much as risking anybody's life.

It's ironic how strongly you feel about her.

Didn't they say that love is neither about envy nor jealousy?

But a part of you, a big part of you, tells you that you need not be jealous because you know that whatever happens she would always, _always_ be there to help you leave reasons to be remembered and missed.

She is once again in front of you, a hand outstretch towards you.

"Let's go back Natsume," she uttered.

And you look back at her innocent face, the face of an angel you adore, and for now you decided to leave out all the rest and just be somebody worth remembering.

You were never one to worry about death.

You knew death was inevitable. Everybody would die eventually; it was just not the same with you. You were one step ahead to death. One step ahead compared to everybody else.

But then, you were never the one to worry about being forgotten.

You were never afraid of anything, let alone being forgotten. But then she came and everything changed. Everything, including your perspective on death.

And suddenly you were afraid to be forgotten.

But you were also never the one to think of the future. You were a person who lives in the present. And right now, you're too busy being someone worth remembering to even worry about being forgotten.

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**Author's note:** Well yeah, I'm sorry for the sad start guys. I was supposed to post this around the last week of April but I just didn't have the will—or the guts for that matter— to do so. I couldn't bring myself to write any stories since her _departure_.


	2. Tomorrow

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**Disclaimer: **I neither own Gakuen Alice nor the songs i used as inspiration in this wholel fic.

**Author's note:** Yesterday was her 40 days so this next song drabble is a little less sad than the first one. ;)

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**Title: **Tomorrow

**Inspiration:** Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne

**Pairing:** Yukihara x Yuka

**Dedication: **This story goes out for you again KJGT. Congratulations you dolt! You're now officially an angel! Hurrah! Watch over little ol' naughty me will ya? ;)

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Because he gave her faith and the strength to believe even if it's just for a short time.

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"It'll be okay"

You were smiling as you said this.

"It'll be fine Yuka, I promise."

You said it with utmost sincerity that it made me want to believe.

And young as I was, I did.

You would always say that it'll all be okay in the end, and I will be this hopeful little girl holding onto your every word.

I believed you. In fact, I always did.

Like that one time I tried to escape the academy. It was your first week in the school and it was also my first time seeing you.

And to think our first meeting would end up in me being electrocuted by the barrier (again) and falling off that extremely high ladder I had use to climb the academy's impenetrable walls.

The shock of the barrier was so strong and my exhausted body couldn't take it that I ended up loosing my balance and halfway through the fall, I already fainted.

I had already braced myself on the cold hard ground I was sure I'm going to fall on. I was still half conscious during my fall and I was surprised to feel that my limp body did not meet the ground but instead a pair of strong and warm hands had broken my fall.

I was fighting the urge to drift off to oblivion because I didn't know this man. He could be one of the academy's guards out to get me for all I know.

And just as I was about to drift to unconsciousness I heard three soothing words that immediately made me put my guard down, managed to calm my raging heart and my restlessness to cease.

"_It'll be okay"_

That time we had made love I was still young and naïve. I was scared. I had let my emotions take over me and did not think before I acted. I was scared as hell but I did not regret it.

I didn't regret any of it.

Because it was with you, and all the while, although out the time that you held me in your arms you had been so gentle and loving and throughout you kept whispering the words that would always make me smile and believe.

"_It'll be okay" _

Even when your brother found out about us and was furious at you, you were still chuckling as we exited your his office with you covered with bruises because of his anger.

"Don't worry," you said, ruffling my hair "It'll be okay."

We slept together that day. I was curled up beside you and I vaguely remembered hearing you say those words before I drifted off to sleep.

And not surprisingly, it made me have sweet dreams.

But I knew it wouldn't be long until you break that promise.

I knew there was something wrong when I woke up the next morning and you weren't there beside me. You were already arranging your clothes and your usual carefree smile was wiped off and your face was completely serious.

I never like it when you make that face. It doesn't suit you at all

You noticed me awake and had turned to me plastering that smile of yours.

"I'll just be out in a bit, okay?" you said. You made your way toward the bed and kissed me lightly on the forehead, "I'll be back before you know it."

You must have noticed the worry lingering in my eyes because you quickly added, "Don't worry. It'll be fine"

And even though I had the strong feeling that it won't be, I believed you.

"_It'll be okay"_

Lies.

Now, standing in your grave, I have long ago realized that you lied. Things didn't turn out to be better. If anything, it had worsened. But I don't blame you, because along with the feeling of hurt, sorrow and regret… is hope.

As much as I regret that I would never see your smiling face again. As much as I regret that the only light in my life is now gone. And regret that I would never hear those words…those soothing words that would always make me want to believe in tomorrow. Inside, I'm still that hopeful little girl that had always believed.

I wiped the tears that had unconsciously slide down my cheeks and tighten my hold to the child on my arms. Looking up to the heavens I smiled.

Maybe this one time I'll believe again.

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**Author's note:** I wrote this fic while under the influence of alcohol. I wasn't drunk but I was a little tipsy, yesterday was my first time! I went home tipsy from all the alcohol we drank at their house! Haha! It was my first time going on a 40 days celebration.

Knowing that an angel is watching over you feels wonderful.

Sorry if there are any mistake on grammars and the spellings. As I said I wrote this under the influence of alcohol and I didn't have the time of day to edit it. Pardon me.

Well kiddies...you know the drill. Reviews and constructive criticisms are highly appreciated but strictly no flames!

Love lots,

-Fria


	3. The Secret's in the Telling

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice or the song

**Author's Note:** This song is really perfect for this pairing, almost as if it was written for them.

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**Title: **The Secrets in the Telling

**Inspiration:** The Secrets in the Telling by Dashboard Confessional

**Pairing:** Natsume x Mikan

**Dedication: **This story is dedicated to all the people out there who can't profess their feelings for each other freely. May it be because of society, peers, status and other circumstances that hinders us to be completely happy.

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Because they were forbidden to be together but they were contented with what they have and it was more than enough.

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"Do you like Mikan?"

He would scoff whenever this question is catechized. He would scoff before answering in the usual blunt manner.

"Like hell I would like that idiot" is what the almighty Hyuuga would always say.

But _they _know that beneath those words lies the truth.

He would cast a glance to her direction from his peripheral vision and would always be delighted by the profound smile on her face even upon his statement.

She knows.

And he would allow himself a small smile as well before dozing off once again.

"Get the hell out of here, Polka."

He would always order her in the same superior, condescending voice he uses at everyone, but in return, all she ever does was look at him with a mock castigating look and it's not even because of his rudeness.

_Wait for me here will you?_

"It's not your tree you jerk"

_Sure I will. Always._

And after a series exchange of insults, still by the end of it all he would always, _always_ allow her to sit beside him and savor the time the gods had spared for him to spend with her.

Then, amidst that long silence with just the two of them contentedly seated there, he doesn't have the choice but to stand just before the sun set and spare her one last glance before he leaves her.

No words are exchange; no formalities are uttered, because she knows.

Oh, she knows. She had always known.

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Natsume Hyuuga woke up in the middle of the night. He scanned the room he was in and could tell it was already midnight because the room was very dark and only the light of the moon was illuminating.

Inhaling a gulp of air, he immediately realized that he's not in his room.

The room smelled sweet. It smelled like strawberries and vanilla. It smelled—

It smelled awfully like _her._

Then it hits him.

'_Of cours.e I'm in her room_' he realizes, 'The_ bed alone is a dead giveaway_'

Yes, the small bed alone is a dead give away, not to mention the welcoming and warm aura surrounding the whole place.

Something that his own room had never possessed.

A figure is seated on the window sill and he knew right away that she was watching over him.

With all the strength he could muster, he turned to her and asked, "Why aren't you sleeping?"

And even in the darkness of the room, he could clearly see her smile.

"Well, because you're in my bed." she answered, deciding to humor him.

He managed to chuckle despite his current state, but immediately winced because of the pain that shot through his body.

He unconsciously ran a hand over his stomach and felt the rough texture of bandages. His usual stoic face softens a bit at the realization that she had cleaned and dressed his wounds.

He can't help but admit thatthis was definitely better than going to the infirmary.

He returned to the question at hand, "Why aren't you sleeping, idi-" he stopped mid sentence, deciding not to call his savior any insulting names for now as a sign of gratitude. "Why aren't you sleeping? Knowing you, you could pretty much sleep anywhere"

She smiled softly at the tinge of worry in his voice, she smiled at the thought that he did care and she giggled at his comment, a way to conceal her woe.

Her giggles died down and were replaced by a sad smile.

Tucking her knees closer to her chest, and burying half of her face in it she spoke, "I'm afraid" she uttered, "that this might be the last chance" her voice was shaky followed by a soft sob.

And even if her statement was so vague he had completely understood. And upon her answer, he shifted on the bed as gently as possible, so as to not exert pressure on his wounds, to give her space and reckoned her over.

She complied and the two of them lay there savoring each others warmth.

And despite the exhaustion the fire caster felt, he did not even so much as blink his eyes because he knew she might be right, that this might be the last chance. He didn't so much as blink only to miss a moment and neither did she.

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"Are you and Natsume a couple?"

She would pause whenever someone would ask this question. She doesn't get surprised by this inquiry because it seems to be catechized lately, but unlike her said 'boyfriend' she would answer this question in a more civil way.

She would pause for a second or so, smile and continue whatever she's doing. "No we're not" she would answer with a smile, "We're just friends."

And they would leave it at that because they know that whatever they say she would always give them the same answer.

He doesn't get irk with her answer. It had surprised everyone, because ever since the question had popped months ago, Hyuuga Natsume never once had lost his temper whenever Sakura Mikan declares that they're 'just friends'.

Well, why would he? After all, it is true. They are not a couple.

They don't pass or give letters with endearments written on it. They don't have those sweet names couples give each other. It's always 'Pervert' or 'Idiot' or 'Polka' or 'Strawberries' or whatever pattern of underwear she is wearing and whatever lame insult she would think up just to counter his affront. They don't go on romantic dinners, nor do they share a sundae on a café.

They don't do these things because they don't deem they're necessary.

The simple glances and touches were enough. The insults directed at each other were secret names because no one other than them could call the other that, not to mention it's quite original. And it doesn't bother them that they couldn't go on dates. A simple walk on the courtyard of the academy with their hands intertwined, staring at the stars on the dorm's roof top on nights that he's not away and the peaceful afternoons under their Sakura tree were more than enough for them.

And still they would always deny their feelings of amity to the other.

And they're contented with just that. After all, it's what keeps them bound to one another.

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He looks at her lying beside him. Her eyes are closed and she is sleeping, a smile still present on her lips.

He can't help but whisper a soft prayer of gratitude to the gods for letting him return alive and breathing once again. For letting him return to her.

He marvels at how comfortable she feels with him. No traces of any enmity or alarm towards the monster everyone thinks he is. The monster _he_ thinks he is. He reaches out to touch her face and immediately pull at realization, the realization that he might taint her.

But the smile on her face says otherwise. She trusts him, even more than he can imagine. So he reaches out to her again and this time with all the courage he could muster, managed to caress her angelic face.

He was startled when she shifted and lifted one delicate hand to touch his calloused ones and he gently heard her murmur his name. A smile immediately surfaced on his face at how natural his name rolled out of her lips.

The clock is ticking and he knows it's almost time. He looks at her wistfully and for the nth time for that day tried his best to memorize her every feature.

Because he's just not sure when death will take him.

Away from his friends, the ones he has treated like his family, away from Ruka and most especially away from her.

He withdraws back his hand, unintentionally waking her.

"What's wrong?" she asked sleepily, "Do your wounds hurt again? Do you want me get medicine?"

She was about to stand up to get the pills that the doctor had prescribed for him to take when he suddenly grabbed her wrist and yanked her back in bed with him.

She was even more startled when Natsume pressed his warm lips to hers. At first, she was confused. They have kissed a lot of times but this kiss was different. It wasn't passionate or gentle or any other emotion that is usually present on his kiss. This time it was….needy. Needy and full of grief, almost as if he's saying good bye and letting her go.

He knows this'll all be over tomorrow. He knows that this dream will be over soon, he would have to wake up tomorrow without her and once again he would have to face reality.

And because he had long known that sooner or later, whatever this is that is between them would have to end one way or another. She would find someone better than him, someone that could protect her all the way and not just here in the academy and especially not for just a short while. Someone that wouldn't make her worry, someone that would be kind, loving and could give everything she wants. Someone that'll keep her warm when she's cold and would hold her tight and comfort her when she's sad and when that time comes he would just have to suck it all up and force himself to smile and wish her and that lucky bastard good luck.

It wouldn't hurt to be selfish just this time, would it?

"No," he says, "just…stay."

She was perturbed by his tone of voice. A feeling of déjà vu washed over her. It was just like that time when they were forced to sleep together for a night because of the prank that Tsubasa played on them.

"_I'll give you back to Ruka tomorrow"_

She knew this'll be the next words he would say. So before he could say it she crashed her lips to his.

"Don't worry" she says "You can't get rid of me that easily you know" she muttered rolling her eyes before sporting a reassuring smile.

He was caught off-guard with her remark. Even though it was meant to be a joke he had caught the meaning quite perfectly.

"_I'll stay with you. Always." _

He smiled at this. "Ah, yes. It is hard to get rid of you"

She pouted at this before giving him a chaste kiss on the lips and snuggling closer to his chest.

But even with her reassurance he can't help but think that if one day she chooses to leave him because she found that _someone_ that would make her happy and it wasn't him, he would let her go.

Because he loves her and her being happy is more than enough for him.

But for tonight he decides to be selfish.

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**Author's note: **You know the drill. Reviews and constructive criticisms are very much welcome but please strictly on insult.

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